Because of White Chicks, I can never ever listen to Vanessa Carlton’s A Thousand Miles in the same way, ever again. The moment I hear the broken chords in the piano introduction, all I can think of is the black macho guy in his car, singing along to the song.
It’s not exactly a very pleasant scene, and it’s certainly not very pleasant to be reminded of it every now and then when my iTunes shuffle to that song.
The emoticon in the title sums it all up.
I have always disliked music theory as long as I can remember. Okay, maybe not dislike, but I really dislike doing the work. I don’t mind studying it, but just don’t make me write chorales or complete four-part writings and make me agonize over following the rules and whether I used this chord properly or not, whether it resolved correctly, etc. etc.
If only assignments can do themselves. And why oh why must you be such a smart ass, Bach?? Music students like me generations and centuries later are suffering because of your awesome writing and great legacy. (No, I’m not being sarcastic. I am a self-confessed Bach lover.)
…it’s the end of the fourth week of the semester and I REALLY need to study and catch up on lectures and readings… I need TIME, I need to practice and learn my pieces badly, especially since I NEED to do well in my recital exam at the end of the semester if I want to take the practical subject next year.
Lydia, my housemate has returned to KL for good; she’s starting work in September, but might come back in December for her convocation. It was really sad to see her go… we had a surprise farewell party for her last Saturday night. Linda, Matt’s girlfriend, moved in with us a while ago, so it’s actually been five girls living under one roof for the past month or so. When you have a household full of girls, it really messes up certain biological timings in a girl’s body… 
Zakhir’s down here in Melbourne!! That was a huge surprise; he arrived Tuesday morning, and called me that night with a “Guess who?” to which I responded incredulously, “Zakhir??!?!” I spent my Thursday with him, taking him around the city and showing him the university, and then met up with Chiew Hui later in the night. He knows Linda (it’s seriously such a small world) – they both studied in IMU. Incidentally it’s Linda’s birthday today.
It’s been a relatively routine few weeks for me. Still struggling to find that discipline and time management to get everything done.
But it’s been quite a good start so far. With the subjects I’m doing this semester, I’m actually really enjoying my course now. Which is quite a change from maybe two years ago, where I was still filled with doubts and trepidation about this road I’ve taken.
Yes, I turned my back on the sciences, on the years of achievements I had gained from dwelling in that area most of my schooling years. It was difficult to go down the road of the abstract, where my future is mired in such uncertainty and fogginess. But I have no regrets. I think the journey I went through brought me so much more, and God taught me so much in the decisions I made as well. So here I stand, far along the path, and there is no more looking back.
There are people who give me impressed looks when I answer them, “I’m doing Music and Arts.” I guess it is a pretty different path to go down. But I think it boils down to passion and determination at the heart of doing such a course. I have a coursemate who’s doing a double degree as well, except in Music and Commerce, but she tells me that she wants to be a kindy teacher and teach little kids. There’s another friend who’s majoring in Music and Creative Arts, but she’s more passionate about photography.
We will not all end up being concert pianists or famous performers. And that is the hard truth about being in such a field. There may be a hundred of us in my cohort, all of us talented in our own rights, but only a handful will make it to the very top. The rest of us will fall into obscurity, whether teaching piano or doing something else entirely. But in that obscurity, we know that we did it not for the fame, but for the passion.
If I were to go back to that fork in the road, I would do it all over again. It no longer matters to me what other people think about this road I’ve taken. This is my passion, this is what I love. Sure, I still get skeptical looks from people who ask me, “So what will you do after you graduate?”, and I reply, “I’m not sure, actually. Maybe a teacher or something.” And I couldn’t care less about the doubtful look that flashes across their face for a split second, that unspoken “Oh, just a teacher?” that fleets through their thoughts.
I’ve still got two years to go in this degree, so it’s still quite a way off for me to begin thinking about, “Okay, so now what, and where do I go from here”. But honestly, I’m excited for the future that’s ahead of me. For I know that no matter where God leads me, it’ll be an exciting journey, regardless I become a teacher or not.
Does it matter why he did it? I’m sure he has his reasons that only God may know. Even if it was a “shock tactic” to sell the song, the one thing we should do before pointing fingers and judging is to examine ourselves first. Is our faith in men or in the one true God? Are we relying on others’ testimonies in order to move us to believe in God, when faith “is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1)?
The people Paul mentioned in Hebrews 11 did not have any ‘references’ or any awesome testimonies to rely on when they placed their trust in God.
Noah built the ark in faith, in spite of never having seen rain before.
Abraham went forth at God’s command even though he knew not where he was going; there was no one who had gone before him to ‘fire’ up his faith so that he’ll move – he went in faith in spite of.
Sarah, barren and in old age, believed in the Jehovah Jireh who will remain faithful forever. Did she know of any women before her who had experienced that same healing and miracle? Yet she received because she had faith in a faithful God who had promised…
“A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet Jonah…” (Matthew 16:4)
Yes, ’signs’ such as testimonies or sharings from people’s lives and miracles can authenticate and draw attention to the message of the Gospel. But there is only one sign we need, and that is Jesus, who died and rose again for our sins on the Cross, that we will have hope and reconciliation, and the promise of an eternal life with our beloved Saviour.
So where does our faith rest in? Why then, do we rest on another’s testimony and story of hope and faith? Has God not shown Himself to be true to us in our own lives, time and time again? Why then, do we build our faith on the weak and unreliable man, and not in our everlasting God, whose grace is more than enough for us?
I think I’m defeating the purpose of setting up this new blog. I may have decided to start anew, but I’m still holding back, knowing that more people are reading what I’m saying. Here is where I confess that I have another private blog for myself, and I primarily post there more often than I do here. Maybe I’m afraid of being judged, but heck it, that should not stop me.
I will attempt to try to change again from here onwards.
