I ABSOLUTELY DETEST 20th CENTURY MUSIC.
I seriously don’t mean to offend aficionados of this particular branch of music, but … I’m sorry. I can’t appreciate it, even though I have to put up with learning this for the rest of the semester. It’s the most random and abstract stuff, and it’s irritating. (When I say 20th century music, it’s stuff like serialism and indeterminacy. LIKE RANDOMMMM. And IRRITATING.)
I can’t wait to get back into my good old medieval stuff next semester.
“…but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press forward on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus…”
Philippians 3:13b-14
No regrets.
(:
A million miles away from anything familiar
A thousand places I would rather be
So I choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
Though I find it hard to see beyond my suffering
In my heart I know Your plan is so much bigger
But this small part is all that I can see
And I believe You haven’t left me here to wander
Still I can’t help but ponder where You’re leading me
And I ask,
Why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far I must go
Till I see
Till I know
Why this road
A million miles away from anything familiar
What was it like to be so far from home
Though You came in love
The world misunderstood You
There must have been some days when You felt so alone
But You endured, ’cause there was joy before You
Joy that came because You sacrificed
Since You gave Yourself just to spend forever with me
Surely I can trust You’ll lead me through my darkest times
When I ask,
Why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far must I go
Till I see
Till I know
Why …
From here I cannot see
Why You’d chose this path for me
But I don’t have to understand to believe
That You know why
You know why this road
Why this way
And this load
You know how far I must go
Till I see
Till I know
Why this road
Sigh.
I’ve reached the point where I’ve simply become disillusioned. The past three years have been disappointing and dissatisfying. I don’t want to say that I feel it’s been wasted, because I want to trust God that there is a reason why I’m walking this path, and that He will bring me where He wants me to be, with what seems like now a useless Bachelor of Music under my belt.
In retrospect, I am immensely thankful that I switched over to the double degree when I did, and thank God, that transition three years ago was a smooth affair (which is quite surprising, given the capricious nature of the admin at the university). I’m ending up enjoying my Arts degree more and more, especially with the venture into Politics. I remember explaining to a few friends at the time of the switch, “The Arts degree is my safety net.”
It’s more than my safety net now. Because truthfully, I don’t see my Music degree giving me a secure future. The unsaid words and fears appear to be realizing themselves now. I don’t know what I’d do if I was doing a straight Music degree, and find myself where I am right now. At this moment in my life, I am just so glad to have my Arts degree to fall back on.
Just like an hour ago. I was sitting at my desk, and happened to be bouncing my leg (bad habit, I know!), when suddenly my entire desk started trembling, along with everything on it. I stopped and thought, “I can’t have been shaking my leg THAT hard!” But it went on for a few more seconds and then I thought, “Earthquake!”, and if it had gone on any longer, I’d have run to the door, but then it stopped, and then I thought maybe it’s some really heavy vehicle or construction work thing going on outside on the roads that caused the whole place to shake. And so I dismissed it.
Haha okay, I know I’m sounded more excited than hysterical. As if I never experience tremor before or something.
Oh wait. That’s true.
=P
