Those who know me well will know that I am quite private. I keep a lot of things to myself and internalize a lot, but there are some things that I am absolutely eager to share. Like TFM! (Surprise, surprise.) So perhaps, my blog will be the most active it will ever be in the past few years. In spite of the late hour and my tiredness, and the fact that I need to get up early tomorrow (and for the next eight weeks!), the excitement and passion in the amazing people I’ve met so far is absolutely inspiring. I’m not even using those words as hyperboles; the excitement is real, the passion so tangible, and the inspiration is driving this desire in me to want to share my journey, even though it’s been two days thus far.
This year has been rocky, to say the least, but ever since leaving Brunei and arriving in KL last Thursday, things finally appeared to be looking up. Even though I am well aware of the immense challenge and difficulties that are waiting for us in the next two years, I am still excited. I think about the students I will be teaching, and different scenarios play out in my head. I am so scared deep inside that I will fail, but I am thrilled to bits to know that I will be teaching English, something I’m passionate about, to lower secondary school students. I want to inspire them, to impart to them a love of books, words, and reading. I want to see their lives transformed, to see them go against the odds and the naysayers who put them down constantly.
I’m jumping ahead of myself, but my thoughts are all over the place, so I’ll probably just be rambling and going off on trajectories throughout this blog post! So backtracking—left home Thursday, arrived here late afternoon, went straight to Ipoh to visit my grandfather and relatives. Friday afternoon, took the train back to KL and stayed with my cousin for the next two nights before leaving to the Training Institute in Genting on Sunday afternoon.
It was surreal to see the other 49 Fellows. It still is surreal. The Institute officially began yesterday, but we went up on Sunday to get ourselves settled in and had icebreakers to get to know everyone, but I still haven’t had the chance to meet every single one. This is the most accomplished, and most inspiring group of people I’ve ever met. Among the fresh graduates, there are many working professionals with us as well, including a doctor, a lawyer, an economist, engineer, etc. A doctor! Imagine that, a doctor leaving his profession to do this for the next two years. I also met two other young mothers who are on this same journey with us. I think I am continually amazed each day by the people I meet.
Training us are Teach For America and Teach First UK alums, and they are so passionate, and their energy is infectious. Two months is surely not enough to prepare us for the next two years, but I think we all realize that, and know that the next intensive two months will be just enough for us to kickstart our journeys as new teachers in the seventeen schools around KL, Selangor and Negeri Sembilan.
I’ve been surviving on four to five hours of sleep the past two nights, and the schedule has been intense, but so fulfilling. It feels like university all over again, except that this is actually really, really relevant and good. There are a million more things I want to say, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop once I get started on all the things we’ve been learning, and the issues—very real, difficult, challenging issues—we’ve been discussing, not just during the seminars, but over breakfasts, lunches and dinners.
We had an opening ceremony dinner Monday night as well, and all our trustees and all these important people who believe in our cause and are supporting our vision came, as well as potential sponsors. That was surreal, to see these successful business people come and mingle with us, to know that we had their support.
I can’t end this post without talking a little about the rooms! To our pleasant surprise, the rooms are really great, and we all get single rooms each, and to have the privacy and ‘me’ time is awesome, although we do share the bathroom with one ‘roommate’. And even then, I can’t thank God enough for my roommate, who is fast becoming a good friend and sister as we slowly open up to each other and share our lives. And the people. I can’t talk enough about all these wonderful, amazing individuals I have met, all high achievers, with their talents and leadership skills—and knowing that I am not alone in facing opposition or criticism or skepticism from parents and society, was extremely comforting. But most of all, knowing that we all believe in TFM’s cause, to end education inequity, and our desire to see every child in Malaysia receive the opportunity to a quality education.
I know I have forgone two potentially very comfortable paths—first, the music teaching job in Melbourne, and then an even more comfortable life in Brunei. Do the cold feet and doubts still come? Of course. I’d be lying if I kept up this facade of eagerness and excitement. I think deep down, we all know that this is going to be a very challenging two-year job for us. We don’t want to be naive about the difficulties that lie ahead, but we want to believe and maintain that hope.
But the moment I touched down in Malaysia, there was such a sense of peace and certainty, the feeling that this is right, and I knew that I could not have chosen it any other way. There are like-minded fellow brothers and sisters here, and it’s thrilling and amazing to see how God has called each of us to be where we are, and I can’t help but recall Mordecai’s words to Esther, that perhaps, we are indeed called “for such a time as this”. That we can all have Esther’s amazing courage and faith!—to be able to respond “…if I perish, I perish”, with such confidence and hope in the Lord. To be willing to take up the cross and live and die for his cause and kingdom.
